User blog comment:Chandler8/Caption Contest 18/@comment-7622429-20140330030834

Alternate Alternate A: "FIVE-SECOND RULE!"

Alternate Alternate B: "WHY DID I TRY RIDING IT?!?!"

Alternate Alternate C: "I knew I should've stayed home today!"

Alternate Alternate D: "I swear.... I'm gonna.... *hiccup*... I'm gonna get ya.... *hiccup*... gonna get ya... good.... *hiccup*...."